As I write this post, it has been 4 1/2 days since I had surgery for my 2nd cochlear implant. I feel pretty crappy to be honest, but less crappy than yesterday and definitely less crappy than the day before. Baby steps!
The morning of surgery felt like it dragged on forever. As the nurses hooked me up to my IVs and prepped me for surgery, I found myself focusing on the fact that very soon, I would be totally deaf and 100% dependent on man-made technology in order to hear. I've always used hearing aids to hear but I also always had a little bit of natural hearing just hanging out, ready to be used whenever technology got to that point. When I imagined future "cures" for my hearing loss, it never involved destroying the natural hearing I did have. Thankfully, my medical team whipped me away to surgery before I had too much time to psych myself out. Surgery itself went well and they tested the electrodes while I was in there to make sure everything was working mechanically before stitching me up.
The medical staff was terrific, especially when I woke up. I was in pain and gradually, nausea set on (and would remain for several days). After stabilizing me, I was sent home and plopped down in my big red lazy-boy chair. The pain was controllable with lovely la-la land drugs, but the nausea was my enemy. My taste buds have retreated temporarily so whatever food goes down, is tasteless to begin with. But upon settling in my stomach, nothing agreed to stay. Consequently, for 4 days, my food intake was akin to an anorexic Hollywood super star. On top of that, the morning after surgery, I started itching all over. After discussion with the docs, I was taken off my antibiotic because I was having a bad reaction to it - the medicine was is a different family than penicillin, which I'm allergic to, but apparently my body disagreed with it anyway.
Today, Sunday, I have turned a corner! Frankly I was tired of feeling stoned so I've been weaning off the pain medicine. I had my first full meal at lunch: a tortilla with cheese and an apple. Small victories! Then, since I had a serious case of cabin fever and my back was taking on the shape of the lazy-boy chair, Matt and Jane took me on a car ride to a local park where I sat at a picnic table and enjoyed some fresh air and sunshine. Vertigo only happens when I look down so I try to keep my chin up! I made it a point to move around today and I can feel it; I'm pooped. Its 6pm and the rest of my evening will be spent watching tv and dozing.
I appreciate all the well wishes and cards/flowers/plants/brownies I've received from everyone. I was dreading this recovery phase like the plague but now that I'm over the hump, I'm starting to get excited for activation on Friday!
Love,
Becky
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Sunday, March 29, 2009
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Many of you have asked for a way to automatically receive email updates of when I post to my blog. Unfortunately, this blog site does not have an easy solution for that. So if you'd like to receive updates, I can add your email manually from the back-end. Either leave a comment on this post with your email address, or send it to me at rebeccanovinger@gmail.com.
T-minue 7 days!
Thanks!
Becky
T-minue 7 days!
Thanks!
Becky
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Twice As Nice?
Here I am, two years and 5 days after my 1st cochlear implant surgery, looking ahead to my 2nd implantation 14 days from now. How do I feel? Nervous. Excited. Anxious. Worried.
But definitely ready.
A lot of things brought me to this point but none of the reasons include being dissatisfied. Rather, they are the exact opposite: I want more.
Before I go down that road, let me back up and recap life since my last post which was just 4 months after my 1st implant activation. So much has changed! At my most recent sound mapping in August 2008, I was able to successfully recognize over 90% of spoken speech in the formidable sound booth. Before my implant, with hearing aids, I scored a 3%. That 90% translates into:
1) Regular phone conversations with my parents, husband, and good friends who live elsewhere in this country
2) I listen to NPR on the radio every day during my commute to work...and I understand! For instance, I listened to a fascinating story this evening about the impact the stimulus bill is having on Colorado's department of transportation. They're widening the Almeda bridge over I25 and this project will cost $42 million dollar, $22m of which is coming from the stimulus bill. (And I got all of this without any sort of captioning or someone interpreting. Me! My own ear!!!!)
3) I am learning how to multitask, listening to someone talk and feed me information while I'm doing something else - more importantly, LOOKING somewhere else (other than lips!) I can take notes during meetings, glance at a menu while a waiter is telling me the specials, or just stare at a wall during a conversation that is boring me to tears. I have options, my friends!
4) I'm constantly amazed by sounds outside: snow crunching under my skis; birds chirping during bike rides (my favorite); water trickling against a rock; wind rustling leaves; the whining of my dogs when we stop for lunch on a hike...I could go on and on. My world has completely opened up in terms of sound. I am so much more aware of everything around me that sometimes it can be very overwhelming.
If I'm so happy and the quality of my life has dramatically improved, why get a 2nd? Well... honestly? I miss hearing out of both ears. I miss having a sense of directionality of where sound is coming from. When someone speaks in a group, I have to quickly scan everyone's face to find those elusive moving lips. I tried wearing my hearing aid in my un-implanted ear but gave up after about two weeks. The sound quality does not even compare. Its like driving a Geo Metro when you have a Ferrari in the garage. Or eating Ramen Noodles when you could have lobster. When I put that hearing aid in for the 1st time in 6 months, I was shocked. I actually couldn't believe I wore them for 25 years. Then, when I had my preconsulation testing last month, and I failed miserably with the sound comprehension testing, I was actually depressed. I knew I'd do bad, that was the whole point behind getting cochlear implants. But to be so vividly reminded of how little sound comprehension I had, hit me hard.
A 2nd implant will give me directionatily. I will have to start all over again in terms of my brain understanding sounds through the implant. Each day, I will need to dedicate a certain amount of time to listening with my new implant. It'll take a long time to get my new implant to a comparable place where I am with my existing implant, but I'll get there.
I'm actually more nervous this time around. Have you ever felt like you had it so good, something was going to go wrong? Or that you were putting all of your eggs in one basket? I know I'm being paranoid and that everything will work out fine....but thats the funny thing about paranoia - it can be hard to shake. I'm also dreading the return of the robots. See, when I gave up my hearing aids, I didn't perceive the road ahead of me as long and hard. I saw it as an upward climb toward nothing but good and progress.
This 2nd time around, I know exactly how far I have to go. And this is more intimdating to me than any marathon I've run or hike I've climbed.
My surgery date is March 25. I'm fortunate enough that my wonderful, loving mother-in-law, Jane, is flying out to babysit me. She'll make sure I don't crash to the floor when the vertigo pays a return visit, keep my bandages fresh, and feed me lots of lala-land pills.
All my worries and anxieties aside, I'm truly looking forward to the end result. I know I'm in good hands because I work alongside these people everyday at the Marion Downs Hearing Center. They'll take good care of me.
Well...here we go again! My next post will be shortly after I'm officially bilaterally bionic!
But definitely ready.
A lot of things brought me to this point but none of the reasons include being dissatisfied. Rather, they are the exact opposite: I want more.
Before I go down that road, let me back up and recap life since my last post which was just 4 months after my 1st implant activation. So much has changed! At my most recent sound mapping in August 2008, I was able to successfully recognize over 90% of spoken speech in the formidable sound booth. Before my implant, with hearing aids, I scored a 3%. That 90% translates into:
1) Regular phone conversations with my parents, husband, and good friends who live elsewhere in this country
2) I listen to NPR on the radio every day during my commute to work...and I understand! For instance, I listened to a fascinating story this evening about the impact the stimulus bill is having on Colorado's department of transportation. They're widening the Almeda bridge over I25 and this project will cost $42 million dollar, $22m of which is coming from the stimulus bill. (And I got all of this without any sort of captioning or someone interpreting. Me! My own ear!!!!)
3) I am learning how to multitask, listening to someone talk and feed me information while I'm doing something else - more importantly, LOOKING somewhere else (other than lips!) I can take notes during meetings, glance at a menu while a waiter is telling me the specials, or just stare at a wall during a conversation that is boring me to tears. I have options, my friends!
4) I'm constantly amazed by sounds outside: snow crunching under my skis; birds chirping during bike rides (my favorite); water trickling against a rock; wind rustling leaves; the whining of my dogs when we stop for lunch on a hike...I could go on and on. My world has completely opened up in terms of sound. I am so much more aware of everything around me that sometimes it can be very overwhelming.
If I'm so happy and the quality of my life has dramatically improved, why get a 2nd? Well... honestly? I miss hearing out of both ears. I miss having a sense of directionality of where sound is coming from. When someone speaks in a group, I have to quickly scan everyone's face to find those elusive moving lips. I tried wearing my hearing aid in my un-implanted ear but gave up after about two weeks. The sound quality does not even compare. Its like driving a Geo Metro when you have a Ferrari in the garage. Or eating Ramen Noodles when you could have lobster. When I put that hearing aid in for the 1st time in 6 months, I was shocked. I actually couldn't believe I wore them for 25 years. Then, when I had my preconsulation testing last month, and I failed miserably with the sound comprehension testing, I was actually depressed. I knew I'd do bad, that was the whole point behind getting cochlear implants. But to be so vividly reminded of how little sound comprehension I had, hit me hard.
A 2nd implant will give me directionatily. I will have to start all over again in terms of my brain understanding sounds through the implant. Each day, I will need to dedicate a certain amount of time to listening with my new implant. It'll take a long time to get my new implant to a comparable place where I am with my existing implant, but I'll get there.
I'm actually more nervous this time around. Have you ever felt like you had it so good, something was going to go wrong? Or that you were putting all of your eggs in one basket? I know I'm being paranoid and that everything will work out fine....but thats the funny thing about paranoia - it can be hard to shake. I'm also dreading the return of the robots. See, when I gave up my hearing aids, I didn't perceive the road ahead of me as long and hard. I saw it as an upward climb toward nothing but good and progress.
This 2nd time around, I know exactly how far I have to go. And this is more intimdating to me than any marathon I've run or hike I've climbed.
My surgery date is March 25. I'm fortunate enough that my wonderful, loving mother-in-law, Jane, is flying out to babysit me. She'll make sure I don't crash to the floor when the vertigo pays a return visit, keep my bandages fresh, and feed me lots of lala-land pills.
All my worries and anxieties aside, I'm truly looking forward to the end result. I know I'm in good hands because I work alongside these people everyday at the Marion Downs Hearing Center. They'll take good care of me.
Well...here we go again! My next post will be shortly after I'm officially bilaterally bionic!
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