Revelations

Hello everyone!

Its been over a month since my last posting. As the weeks went by, I did not have anything dramatic to share...but that has changed!

Firstly, for those of you who do not know, my older brother Matt decided to embark on his own cochlear implant journey starting back in May. After going through his own candidacy process, he was approved for the surgery and had it completed on July 19th at the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio. His surgery was a success and he spent the last week recovering under his finance, Molly's, careful eye. Today is his first day back at work! I can't wait for him to be activated and for us to share our experiences. He decided to use the technology of a different company so it will be interesting to see how similar or different our journeys are...especially since we have nearly identical medical backgrounds as far as our hearing loss goes. Please keep him in your prayers as he spends the next few weeks healing -- he's doing well but he is still hurting.

After my most recent appointment back in June, I did not like the programs I was given. They seemed too loud, capturing excessive amounts of background noise, making it even more challenging to understand people around me. After just over a month of having these programs, and 3 months of being activated, I'm starting to realize things are changing...and maybe the programs aren't so bad.

Since activation, I've been able to catch snippets of conversation here and there, usually just a few words... and that is very exciting because the more I can "hear" without lip-reading, the more progress my brain is making with learning sound comprehension.

In the last two weeks, I've noticed I'm starting to hear entire sentences... at first, I didn't trust myself to NOT look at someone's lips. After all, I've been lipreading since I was a little girl! My natural reaction is to look at someone when they are talking to me. When I don't look, I panic. I never give myself a chance to focus on what I'm hearing.

Two weekends ago, Matthew and I were watching a movie at home. We had all of the lights turned off. Usually, we keep the dining room light on low so I can see his face just enough to read his lips. For some reason, that night, everything was off. Perfect stage to test my comprehension skills.

I asked Matthew a question...he responded...and I realized I understood what he said. So every once in a while, I'd ask another question, he'd respond and while holding my breath, I'd understand! I started to respond to HIM with another question/statement/comment, he'd respond...I'd understand AGAIN!!! All of this done without lipreading. I was excited that I could respond to HIS responses to ME! Isn't that called...a conversation!?

As the week went by, I would try to give myself a chance to understand Matthew before looking directly at him. Its hard not to panic and immediately whip around and find his face. He provides a safe environment for me to practice my listening skills. I don't do it too often at work because I'm uncomfortable with the possibility my comprehension ability would fail and I'd be embarrassed to ask people to repeat themselves. But with Matthew, its ok. I ask him to repeat himself once, twice, five more times and he'll patiently do so, giving me the chance to focus on what I'm hearing and turn it into meaningful sound.

My practice is paying off. This past weekend, we were on my cousin's Jim and Mary's sailboat, cruising around the Potomac River. Saturday night, we were docked at a marina. Toward the end of the night, we were all sitting at the back of the boat after dinner, in the dark. I realized I could respond to Mary's questions and I couldn't see her lips. Doesn't that mean I heard and understood her? We also had the radio on, tuned into the local weather report. I was repeating back to Matthew what I thought I heard and amazingly, I was understanding what was being said! "Highs, 87 degrees. Winds 5-10 knots. Partly cloudy with chance of thunderstorms." AHH!! I was listening to the radio...the radio! There aren't captions on the radio!

Then, yesterday, Matthew and I were laying on the deck of the boat, face up, eyes closed, enjoying the wind in our faces and the rock of the boat (I was loving the sound of the water crashing on the sides!). I asked him a question and I understood his response perfectly...which enabled me to follow up with another comment/statement/question and the cycle continued for a few minutes. I had an entire conversation, totally independent from lip-reading! I can't believe it!

I feel so fortunate to be going through this experience. I can't even begin to imagine what things will be like 6 months from now...a year from now. Even if this is the most progress I'll ever make, I'd be perfectly satisfied. I've never been able to lay on my back, stare up at the sky, and enjoy a conversation with my husband all at once... now I want to try campfire conversations...where I get to participate. =)